In my feelings

Sometimes I feel so alone and insecure.  Sometimes I feel unsupported and disappointed.  Sometimes I feel like giving up  on my career aspirations, love, family and life in general.  But because I believe in God and I believe that He will not put more on me than I can handle...I keep trying to push through.  It's hard!!!

Nobody seems to understand or care that I have feelings too.  No matter what I do...its not good enough.  Sometimes I sit in my home and tears flow from my face like a faucet and I don't know why...for sure.  I am my own worst critic and I can point out my own faults even if I don't express them openly to anyone.  No one really knows my story except me and God.  At this point in my life I just want to hear the voice of God.  Which I wish was audible to my ears because this state of confussion I am in is taking control of my life.

I feel like I carry the burden of many who respect me enough to confide in my...family and friends.  If they hurt, I hurt.  My tears are not only for myself but for them.  My creating this blog was not only for myself but for them...a stepping stone, guidance.  Unfortunately, I try to make everyone happy...which is impossible.  And instead I leave myself out of trying to be happy.  I'm being criticized because my postings don't always reflect what people think I should be doing since my life does not fully reflect those things either.  All I ask is that people who know me are patient with me...GOD IS NOT THROUGH WITH ME YET!  And when He is, I'm sure you will see the product of my postings.  I was looking for people to go on this journey with me...not telling others what to do.  Like I said, its all about the decisions you want to make in life.  I can't save you.  You salvation is up to you.  Here is just a place where the information is being placed.  Its up to you what you decide to do with the information.  Stop looking at the person giving it and focus on the info itself.  In my feelings.

Be blessed