Because gossip inevitably will affect us one way or another and because it is easy for a conversation to turn into gossip, it would be beneficial to learn what God thinks of gossip, its effects, and how we can show godly examples in our speech.
1 Timothy 5:13---Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.
Idle tale bearing and constant conversation about others is a characteristic of many unbelievers. Still as believers we should not indulge in these conversations but instead, engage in encouraging words to build others up rather than tear them down.
Malicious gossip is vindictive and slanderous speech often stems from a bitter, unforgiving heart.
I know many of us don't feel like we engage in malicious gossip. But if you have ever made an unkind statement about a brother/sister in Christ; repeated something about someone else that was false or at least not completely true or juiced up a story to try to make a person look bad, then you have engaged in slander and malicious gossip. This too can be doe even if you are only thinking it and not saying a word.
2 Timothy 2:23---Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments because you know they produce quarrels.
Those critical thoughts produce a quarrelsome spirit in us and this is not how God wants us to act.
The words we speak come from our hearts, which is why we must make the content of our thoughts a priority.
The quickest way to undermine unity, harmony and fellowship among believers is to engage in the lies and deceitful whisperings of gossip. Instead, we are urged to preserve the unity of the Holy Spirit by walking in a manner worthy of our calling with humility, gentleness, and patience.
Eph. 4:1-3
How we should respond to slander/gossip
1. First, console yourself knowing you are in good company. Jesus said you are blessed if people insult you and say false things about you.
2. Know that nothing can happen to you without God's approval.
3. The best way to dispel disagreements or misunderstandings is to simply go to the person.
4. Always respond in a Godly manner. When we are insulted and reviled we are to give a blessing, which will bring shame upon those who slander and falsely accuse us.
Psalm 34:13 tells us to keep our tongue from evil and our lips from speaking deceit. Understand, it is not ok to use ungodly speech. The Bible makes it clear in Romans 1:28-32 that those who make a habit in gossiping and slandering others actually hate God. We don't want to bring shame on the name of Christ by speaking like unbelievers.
The key to learning how to control our tongues is to spend less time in the flesh and more time walking in the Spirit.
Galatians 5:16 assures us that when we walk in the Spirit we won't carry out the desires of the flesh. Remember when you walk in the flesh the Holy Spirit is not in control.
Don't fool yourself and try to justify the words you carelessly or wrongly speak because you end up in denial about your sin and forfeit the blessing and power of walking in the Spirit.
Before you talk bout someone else, consider these things:
1. It is true? If you don't have all the facts, you should withhold your comments or at least admit you don't have all the details.
2. Is it king? What you want to say may be true, but is it kind to say? Many people have been hurt by someone just telling them the truth.
3. It is necessary? How would what you say benefit the listener? Eph. 4:29 tells us we are to speak words "good for edification according to the need of the moment", so that it will give grace to those who hear.
Psalm 19:14---May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
